I am that mom!

“And, although I’m confident that I will always think my daughter is The Greatest Thing in the Universe, I’m also all too aware that this feeling will not always be reciprocated in quite that same way or with quite that same enthusiasm that we both enjoy right now.

She won’t always run to my bed in footie jammies.

I’ll only get that particularly noisy and personalized wake-up call for a little while. And, I only get a shot at it once a day. At almost exactly 6:00 AM Pacific Time.

Then one day? I won’t get it any more. It will be gone.”

-Merlin Mann

I saw dd today at her montessori preschool. We had a fall parent-teacher conference (for 3 year olds!) I peeked in through the window and there she was checking out her toasted bread with nutella and happily eating it. And I should have been happy seeing that sight but it somehow broke my heart. She is just 3 and there she is away from her parents for 6 hours a day, having to eat all by herself and manage her little self alone (yes, I know she is not alone but you know what I mean)…still wonder if I am doing the right thing. Does a 3 year old need to be away from her parents for so long?

I figured I would just add a twitter feed here because often, that’s the amount of time I have between tasks to write, if you can call that writing! And I figure I would “write” more if it were just 120 characters. We will see. I am @iam_that_mom on twitter, catch you there and occasionally here too, I hope!

dd did the cutest thing the other day during her American birthday party (Yay! This year she gets to celebrate an American and an Indian birthday party). dd, another toddler and her parents were all playing in our sand box and I asked her to sing a Tamil song. So she started singing and took a step forward and fell in the sand. She got sand over her mouth and nose and when she stood up, she continued singing the song until I lifted her and took her off to rinse her mouth. For some reason, it just broke my heart and I don’t even know why. Just watching her sing so expectantly, fall and then start singing right back just moved me to tears. Can’t stop loving her. ever.

So, I met this mom in the Bay area who was refreshingly relaxed about her kids’ nap schedules. One was a few months younger than dd (19 months) and her older kid was 4 years old. Whenever I asked her if we could go sightseeing and if that would work for her kids’ naps, she would say, “Oh they will nap for a half hour in the car when we drive and that should keep them going!” For me, surrounded by moms who are super focused on baby’s naps (including me), this was a surprise. A few days spent with this mom and I realized I was doing the same thing. When dh asked me what the plan was for the day and when dd would nap, I found myself telling him, “Oh she might nap in the van. If she doesn’t, no big deal. She will sleep earlier in the night!” and it felt liberating, refreshing to say that. I was not bound by naps and schedules, at least for those few days in California. And I realized I carried a bit of that attitude when I came back home. I am not so hung up on dd’s naps and I feel good about it and I don’t miss so many events anymore planning around her nap time! Agreed that it sometimes might backfire and result in a cranky baby but it’s not something I stress about like I used to 🙂

Now, I know why they say travel is good for you, even if it is traveling with a toddler!

After dd, there have been more times that I can remember when I have thought, “I must be crazy if I want another baby. This is it!” and “I need another baby!”

Is it like this for every mom?